Since today is technically the last day of my maternity leave, I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on what I have learned since November 4th.
Before Jackson was born, I had some preconceived ideas of what it would be like to have a child. I knew it would be a total change of lifestyle, I worried about finances, if I would be a good mother, if I would survive giving birth, and I worried about post-partum depression to name a few. We all know I made it through the delivery & it was easier & harder than I thought it would be.
Now that we have Jackson, there are sooooo many other more important things to worry about. Like does he know that I love him. The stairs have never seemed so terrifying! Will it permanently scar him if he cries for more than 30 seconds? Will he get bullied? Will other kids like him? Will be be respectful to others?
As I am tearfully preparing to go back to work, it presents even more fears. I asked my husband the other night if he thought Jackson would recognize me after 8 hours when I pick him up from day care. When I have to leave him, will he know how much I love him? I could possibly miss the first time he rolls over, his first word, the first step (or maybe it doesn't count if those things happen at daycare). Even thinking about it now makes me feel anxious!
I am not looking forward to going back to work. I have other fears about that. I hope I don't call myself mommy when talking to my boss! Or respond to a client when they ask where the bathroom is by asking them if they need to make a poo poo. Or talk to my co-workers in baby talk (a googoo gaga).
So for those of you who will be seeing me in the next few weeks, be patient with me. I am sure the rest of you working moms can relate (I hope). I am sure that life will only get better!
Before Jackson was born, I had some preconceived ideas of what it would be like to have a child. I knew it would be a total change of lifestyle, I worried about finances, if I would be a good mother, if I would survive giving birth, and I worried about post-partum depression to name a few. We all know I made it through the delivery & it was easier & harder than I thought it would be.
Now that we have Jackson, there are sooooo many other more important things to worry about. Like does he know that I love him. The stairs have never seemed so terrifying! Will it permanently scar him if he cries for more than 30 seconds? Will he get bullied? Will other kids like him? Will be be respectful to others?
As I am tearfully preparing to go back to work, it presents even more fears. I asked my husband the other night if he thought Jackson would recognize me after 8 hours when I pick him up from day care. When I have to leave him, will he know how much I love him? I could possibly miss the first time he rolls over, his first word, the first step (or maybe it doesn't count if those things happen at daycare). Even thinking about it now makes me feel anxious!
I am not looking forward to going back to work. I have other fears about that. I hope I don't call myself mommy when talking to my boss! Or respond to a client when they ask where the bathroom is by asking them if they need to make a poo poo. Or talk to my co-workers in baby talk (a googoo gaga).
So for those of you who will be seeing me in the next few weeks, be patient with me. I am sure the rest of you working moms can relate (I hope). I am sure that life will only get better!
What a big day for you! Thoughts and prayers with you today.
ReplyDeleteI had all of those fears and worries too. Our daycare provider didn't tell us when Rachel reached major milestones. Instead, she let us tell her about the first time we saw it and THEN she would sometimes admit that it had happened a few days earlier for her too (but she always assured us that it probably wasn't near as neat as when we saw it). :)